My Valentine's Entry.
Yesterday, I realized that I had one of those days when I was grateful for myself for staying alive and choosing to live in times, I had been wanting to end things. The day is quite remarkable and light and just oozing with passion and love. I never felt secure, loved, respected, and valued by one person. So, to the person who made me feel this way, Hey, you. Thank you for everything you do for me. I love you.
(1) The Nail Biting
Watching a movie with someone is a very intimate activity and to see your partner in a dark room, only with the lights of the television, you see how interested they are and the way they profoundly focus their attention to it makes you more attracted to them. Then suddenly you bite your nails in discomforting scenes and your partner has to pause internally to check in on you genuinely concerned about your mental state and how the movie might affect you. It was pure bliss and love how someone is so sensitive and apprehends things for you because you are simply important to them and wants you all well.
(2) Money/Things Handling
Dating empowered and independent individuals are for mature and strong people. My partner is very strict, and I do not need to carry her things especially if she’s got them. You have to be respectful and appreciate how they also protect you even from simple discomfort to carry such an item for them when they can carry it themselves. I also cherish how my partner and I value and instill fairness in everything, especially in handling finances. We are always taking turns and/or paying halfsies. There are exceptions to these, but we often insist to pay our part in every expense since we are both well-versed in each other’s situation financially.
(3) The Marites Moments
I laugh when we have these moments. I laugh at the idea of how we can shift from a romantic couple to a couple of marites that end it for us to reflect on certain situations to us and dissect every course of action to learn from missteps others took. It was very substantial how we reflect and wise up things for both of us and sincerely subsume the words of others to acknowledge and learn from others’ perspectives. Btw, I love when we put our thinking caps on. Catching glimpse of your brain and the way your mind works make me just fall for you even more.
(4) Openness
Everything we say, think and do are well respected and appreciated even if it's not a good picture to paint. We value honesty above all else and we make a pretty good team by planning our course of action to resolve such issues. Our sensitivity cannot always tell what the other feels, everything is difficult to assume, and so we talk, and we talk with respect and love for we want understanding and acceptance despite everything. Specifically, I remember that every time I open up, my partner’s common structure of the response is that she appreciates me telling it to her, is grateful for my honesty, and will tell her genuine feelings about it. We later resolve and make things better which also makes us stronger and even more deeply in love with each other.
(5) Thank Yous & Bunch of Sorry
We instill the value of appreciation and apology towards each other even at the most minor events. I always hear and feel the sincerity in every thank you and I’m sorry no matter how frequently we tell them to each other. I accidentally bump you, and I will immediately apologize, you missed a few calls and you come saying and feeling sorry for missing them, I got a sweet text and my day just go better and I cannot stop being grateful about it, I remind you some things and there are always thank yous after. I love how we constantly cherish each other. It simply denotes how good we are for each other and how good we are as an individual for acknowledging others and taking responsibility for our mistakes. You are such a green flag, You. <3
(6) The Helping Hand
I don’t know how you do this, but I want to believe that you have a superpower. You already know what I need without me asking for it. I appreciate thoughtful and insightful you are, I have tons of experiences where my hands are full with foods, drinks, or whatever I am always holding, and when I am about to tend to something like getting my wallet for fare or key for the room, no words, no look, nothing just pure you instantly offering your hand or somethings snatching the things I am holding so I can tend to stuff freely. You’re like a part of me that helps me instantly without needing to ask. You are brilliant at anticipating such needs and have amazing attention to making sure I am well. I aspire to be like you, I want you to feel the way I feel seen and been looked after well by you. I am very lucky and grateful.
(7) Dipping Toe into the water
I admit, this very situation is new and not the typical couple stuff. This is not your usual go-to dish in the buffet, but I swear to God, I’m one hell of a dish haha. I admire how brave you are for diving with me. For dipping your toes in this unfamiliar water and for constantly trying new things. We went to various places, we ate unfamiliar cuisines, we bowled our way to such new and fun activities, and I cannot help myself commend this person for living a courageous life. You inspire me to face life head-on. With this, I genuinely appreciate these phrases that you told me,
[1] “And I want you to feel valued kaya I want sana to let them know about us.”
[2] “Because I don’t want na out of sight.”
[3] “You deserve to be revealed with me.”
[4] “It’s not that I need my family’s approval or anything, but I believe that it matters na maintroduce kita to them.”
You keep making me happy and well-fed with such amazing and sweetest memories.
[8] This is Our Way
They say, “The way to get to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” I say, “sure.” Looking back and realizing how far we have come from this to then, it’s amazing how we created our own way. There are not enough sources to learn this cos if there are books, documentaries, and references to handle this beautiful thing, I swear to God, I’ll dedicate my life to it, but there are none. I guess that’s one of the best things about us. We don’t need their heterotypical ways to love each other. We look at each other, we hold hands, and we go wherever our heart takes us. We’ve been to many places and every one of them is a core memory engraved into my heart and mind. The kisses you give on my shoulders, your soft tight grip on my hand, your candid photos using your iPhone 13 256 GB FULLY PAID, and your calming presence gives me sanctuary. Our way is the best way.
[9] Date Night
Not that I’m keeping score, but I think I plan the best date night. (HAHAHA that’s my competitive side talking) I remember how we go around Naga exploring cafes and restaurants to find our spots. It’s not always at night because of some personal restrictions but those memories are well kept in me because those are the steppingstones of how we grow as a couple and how we evolve into these amazing individuals to each other. Moving to Manila was tough cos I have always been closer to you and get to see you every week and now, even if I cry myself to sleep cos of missing you so bad, it’s hard. But when you surprised me that you were coming to see me, I could not contain my happiness. I planned the whole thing from top to bottom and ensure to give you the best date you deserve. But yeah, things got to change but Rockwell's date was beautiful and living rent-free in my mind. I want to say that you were stunning in that white dress. And the conversations about the future we are going to build together were more than enough to make me so happy. I love you and I appreciate everything that you do. I see you.
[10] Sacred Mornings
Mornings with you are the most sacred routine I want to keep doing forever. I’m a morning person and you are not. That way I get to get up early and do the first touch of my lips to your body to kiss you on your head and make breakfast meal before you wake up. Well, that’s the goal but you always wake up while I’m cooking. but then, you are wrapping your arms around me while I’m cooking is the first touch you make on me, and it just feels so revered by you. If I get to be stuck in time on the loop, I’ll choose our morning routine. <3
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