09/30/2023
In the realm of same-sex couples, there are aspects of love uniquely tailored for us, distinct from those experienced by heterosexual couples. I've never been part of a relationship this healthy before. By 'healthy,' I mean one that resembles the kind of normal relationships we often see in straight couples—where public displays of affection, introducing your partner to friends, sharing moments on social media, and openly professing your love are not just possible but embraced.
I must admit, my romantic history has been quite tumultuous, hidden in the shadows, as if destined to remain behind closed doors. However, this new chapter I'm embarking on is remarkably different, yet oddly familiar—almost as if it's a love story that combines the extraordinary with the ordinary.
My relationship with my biological family has always been complex, making my best friend's unwavering support all the more precious. It's a connection that transcends familial ties, as if cosmic forces have woven our hearts and minds together, defying time, distance, and space. It means that no matter where life takes us, we'll always have each other.
That might sound a bit cringeworthy, doesn't it? But that's precisely how a best friend feels to me, especially when you're openly gay and lack the support of very understanding and open-minded family members—except for Zoe and Marlo, who are also incredibly dear to me. As fate would have it, our schedules have finally aligned, and the time has come for me to introduce the person I love to my best friend.
As my partner and I sit in a parking lot, she's a bundle of nerves, anxious yet excited to meet the person who has stood by me. We even had a brief argument, as our tension palpable. But then, I took the wheel, stopped in front of a Korean restaurant, and there they were—my best friend and her little sister. This unexpected addition wasn't what I had imagined for such a significant introduction, but I've always had a close bond with her little sister. Despite recent interactions that left me feeling somewhat used, given she only contacts me when she needs something, and when I reach out, I am always left unanswered. she's still my best friend's sibling, and her presence is welcomed.
So, I invited Zoe, another person close to me, to balance the dynamics and to have some comfort for me and partner. My partner finds easy to connect with him especially that Zoe is one of the most important people to me, so my partner treats him as a little brother. The car ride was filled with unease, a communication barrier forming as they delved into their own topics, leaving us as outsiders. The dinner itself was emotionally fraught, particularly when the conversation veered towards my past relationship, making my partner and me feel like mere spectators in their exchange.
As a gay couple, receiving approval from our best friends held more significance for us than gaining it from our own families, given the traditional Filipino view of same-sex relationships. It was a challenging experience, and we perhaps placed undue pressure on ourselves, not realizing that for our straight counterparts, such situations may not carry the same weight. Perhaps that experience has given me a wounding moment.
Months passed, and my partner received a call from her best friend in Canada, Ella, who expressed a desire to meet me during her visit to the Philippines. Initially, I felt anxious, haunted by past experiences. I didn't want to overthink it, but my body betrayed me, amplifying my nervousness. Ella's importance to my partner made it crucial for me to create a good impression and show her the depth of my affection.
Days turned into a slow buildup of anxiety, like a ticking time bomb.
It feels like I am overthinking more than ever.
However, my partner's reassurances provided solace. And Ella's genuine excitement, expressed over a phone call recently, helped alleviate my fears. As I pen this, the day before meeting Ella, my tension has lessened, though some anxiety still lingers.
Best friends hold a unique place in the hearts of many of us in the LGBTQ+ community. Love Wins.
I'll update this entry after our meeting (Tomorrow), hoping that our dinner goes smoother than the first. X
Cheering for you!!!